you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
