i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
