In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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