Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
