Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
