the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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