She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
