Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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