I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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