return my video game
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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