if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
why is half of my head shaved?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
