You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
