I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
