I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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