watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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