I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize