I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
