Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
