i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
