Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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