I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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