I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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