everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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