i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
