operation harelip BJ is a go
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
