i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
