He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
