I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize