Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize