I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize