She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
