I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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