Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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