she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
