Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
