Will you blow on my dice?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
