I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
soo... how was my night?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
