I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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