Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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