True but thats because hes a fetus.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
