just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
