if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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