The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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