He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
