Quick, to the slutcave!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
