I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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