I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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