girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
