i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
