Got a toothbrush?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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