It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
