absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
