is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize