So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
