i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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