great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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