the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
