Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Congratulations! We have a period
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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