bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
