I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
