If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
