she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What a dumb baby whore.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
