the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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